she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
No subtext here. People are naked.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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