hell yes lets make some ravioli
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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