6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
