See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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