You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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