I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
