Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize