smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
