I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
no, he came in my armpit
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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