i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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