you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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