Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
