You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize