I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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