I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
