I cockslap morals
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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