the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
