During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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