Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
