whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
