I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize