All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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