Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
