The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
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