i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
