five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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