I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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