just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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