Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.