things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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