just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
