Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
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im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
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He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize