Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
