I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
