so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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My bed is full of blood and feathers
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
