At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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