My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Randomize
