just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize