Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
