I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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