This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
