Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
