I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
