I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize