Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
2020 sucks, I want a refund
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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