$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
There r osticjed everywhere
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
