dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
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