3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Dear god my vagina.
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