he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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