Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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