We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
