anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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