Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
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