Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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