i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
