I love black thongs
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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