You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
